"Corrupt a Wish"

[BTGBullseye]

Granted, and you are then beaten to death by them, just before reality removes them from existence.

 

I wish I didn't have to get ready to go to work.

[ThePest179]

Granted, and you are then beaten to death by them, just before reality removes them from existence.

 

Yeah, no.

 

I wish I didn't have to get ready to go to work.

 

Granted, you just go to work wearing whatever you went to bed with, and are fired for it.

 

I wish I didn't have to write two essays.

[BTGBullseye]

Granted, you now have to write 6560937 essays with a minimum of 120 pages apiece before you die, or you will be forced to write 1000-page essays for all of eternity on subjects you loathe.

 

I wish I had more ammo.

[ThePest179]

Granted, but it is placed in your body at a high velocity.

 

I wish I had a banana.

[BTGBullseye]

Granted, it appears suddenly inside your heart.

 

I wish my pay card wasn't as ghetto as a prepaid card seems.

[ThePest179]

Granted, but you now live in the ghetto.

 

I wish I was rich.

[Jeb_CC]

Granted, but you're rich enough to be in space, lonely, forever.

 

I wish I wasn't tired.

[BTGBullseye]

Granted, but you now live in the ghetto.

Been there, done that... Still have loads of friends stuck there... YAY, I get to visit my friends more often!!!

 

I wish I wasn't tired.

Granted. All vehicles you enter have their tires violently ripped off of them.

[ThePest179]

I wish for a seven.

[BTGBullseye]

Granted. It eats 9 right in front of you, soaking you in 9's blood, and then moves menacingly toward you... Good luck getting out of this one.

 

I wish I had more money and time.

[ThePest179]

Granted, you are an immortal lich with great wealth, but become insane, greedy, and sociopathic.

 

I wish for another hat.

[BTGBullseye]

Wait, you just made a rich, immortal version of me... I'm just not capable of being greedy for money, but I'll take any knowledge you can share. MuahahahAHAHAHA!!!

 

Granted, the hat is a live poison headcrab, and you are now a very slow moving zombie.

 

I wish I had more functioning handguns, longarms, and shotguns, (currently 1 functioning .40 cal pistol, 2 functioning .22 cal rifles, and 1 functioning 20 gauge shotgun) and crates full of functional ammo appropriate for use with each of these firearms.

[Seattleite]

Granted. You're in the Taliban.

 

I wish I had Haruhi syndrome.

[BTGBullseye]

YAY! I get to be part of a terrorist group, and can take them out from the inside while getting free worldwide transportation and weapons/ammo!

 

Granted, you are now a soon to be dead semi-extra in an anime universe.

 

I wish life was a lot more exciting.

[Seattleite]

Semi-extra? The main character, after which the show was named, who has godlike powers she's not aware of and people dancing around her trying to keep her happy so the world won't end, is a "semi-extra"?

 

You now work at technical support again, except this time you're expected to work for three people and they only pay you minimum wage.

 

I wish I could smack people through the internet.

[BTGBullseye]

I said exciting, not boring and easy.

 

Granted, but they automatically start off with a instant return-smack, and have to opt-out to disable it.

 

I wish people would quit talking about obscure anime stuff like it's common knowledge.

[Seattleite]

It's not obscure. It's the most well-known non-shonen anime. And a fairly successful light novel series. And a movie.

 

I wish people knew better than to think something is automatically obscure if they don't know about it, no matter how many other people do.

[BTGBullseye]

Granted, but it still doesn't make obscure anime any less obscure. (anime itself is relatively obscure, as is manga and hentai, though oddly hentai is less obscure than anime due to negative media coverage in the early 2000's)

 

I wish insults were farts.

[Seattleite]

Yours might as well be.

 

I wish I had my own damn blankets with me.

[BTGBullseye]

Granted, but they're about as useful to warm you as a block of partially melted ice.

 

I wish ice was able to form at 60 degrees normally.