"Corrupt a Wish"

[Seattleite]

Granted. Now you can never sit still.

 

I wish toddlers would stop chasing me. (She doesn't get it. She can't follow me everywhere. And saying her aunt Kari followed me there once doesn't make it any better!)

[BTGBullseye]

Granted. Now you can never sit still.

I never could to begin with, so nothing changed.

 

I wish toddlers would stop chasing me. (She doesn't get it. She can't follow me everywhere. And saying her aunt Kari followed me there once doesn't make it any better!)

Granted, instead of following you everywhere, they go there just before you do... Every... Single... Time.

 

I wish life was less realistic.

[Seattleite]

Not granted, because if the rules of life changed, the new rules would define "realistic".

 

I wish these wishes had some sounder logic.

[BTGBullseye]

Granted, they all make noise when you read them. Really loud noise.

 

I wish my car got better gas mileage.

[Professor Vex]

Granted miles are now a shorter unit of measurement.

 

I wish people wouldn't look at me funny whenever I pet animals, pick flowers, or cry at sad movies.

[BTGBullseye]

Granted, you are now female.

 

I wish that work wasn't important.

[ThePest179]

Granted, but now you are complacent as hell and neglect to care for yourself.

 

I wish Russia would stop invading Ukraine and subjecting them to a dictatorship none of them wanted.

[BTGBullseye]

Granted. Russia stops invading, but the entire EU decides to join under Russian rule.

 

I wish I had more wishes.

[ThePest179]

Granted, but you can't use them.

 

I wish for bombers. Lots of them.

[BTGBullseye]

Granted, but they only exist in your head, and they kill you there repeatedly.

 

I wish for rain.

[ThePest179]

Granted, but it rains so hard you drown.

 

I wish I was more important and less complacent.

[danielsangeo]

Granted, but now you're so important that you can never sleep again as the demands on your time quickly unmanageable.

 

I wish I could have more energy.

[BTGBullseye]

Granted, you get electrocuted.

 

I wish energy was less energetic.

[Professor Vex]

Granted, all the forces of the universe are now weakened immensely, the universe is screwed, and scientists are too tired to be fascinated by it. Politicians claim it's all lies before they fall apart.

 

I wish I could use my old Moto Razr, and still have the functionality of my smart phone.

[ThePest179]

Granted, but as soon as you use it, you're sent to Fallujah, Iraq.

 

I wish Fox was dismantled.

[Professor Vex]

Granted, there's a bag of fox guts on your table.

 

I wish for a bacon.

[BTGBullseye]

Granted, 6 pigs run you over. (each weighs about 1200lbs)

 

I wish people would quit assuming what my opinions are.

[ThePest179]

Granted, they now know. It drives them to madness.

 

I wish for a dystopia.

[Seattleite]

You've already got it.

 

I wish for a perfect singing voice, so people wouldn't mind me singing along to my headphones anymore.

[BTGBullseye]

Granted, but it's useless without lungs.

 

I wish for lungs.