"Corrupt a Wish"

[Professor Vex]

Granted, but the religious find them to be an affront to their gods, and have laws passed limiting the robots to only be legal in a few small under equipped places to treacherous for large scale development.

 

I wish I had a public library in my town.

[Seattleite]

(That sounds disturbingly plausible, but it's still better than nothing at all. In time, religions change. And since the internet exists, religions don't just change anymore, they die.)

 

Granted, but all the books are religious texts.

 

I wish I had the power of creation, and could make anything I wanted and even change that which exists to suit my whim. (Once again, have fun corrupting godhood.)

[ThePest179]

Granted, but now you have to deal with those that have the same powers as you, or have more powers. Also those flies chanting "EXTERMINATE" are getting pretty annoying.

 

I wish I had an army of robots.

[Seattleite]

Granted, but they're incapable of using lethal force.

 

I wish I didn't have to go to Yakima today. (Adjectives for this trip: LONG, BORING, HOT, CRAMPED, MISERABLE.)

[BTGBullseye]

Granted, you had to go yesterday, and the penalty for not going is that you must be whipped with a cat o' nine tails 500 times. (the type that has sharp claw-like implements on the end of each tail)

 

Despite the deadception and irradiation I have previously received, I still wish for more of that pizza.

[ThePest179]

Granted, but now you can't eat it.

 

I wish for a fleet of drones.

[BTGBullseye]

YAY!!! I GOT MY PIZZA!!!

 

Granted, but they're drone bees, and they just want to sting you, and they do... A LOT.

 

I wish Warren Buffet would give me 5 billion dollars tax-free, with no strings attached, just for being cool.

[Seattleite]

Granted, but the news media takes notice of it and is so suspicious they throw you into a horrifying, life-ruining trial by media even in the absence of criminal charges until you can't ever be seen in society again.

 

I wish my girlfriend wasn't going to Vegas, at least not without me.

[Professor Vex]

Granted, she's going next door instead.

 

I wish I wasn't lactose intolerant. (I tolerate everyone, unless you're dairy then I'd like it if you stayed out of my home.)

[BTGBullseye]

Granted... Now you have an intolerance of air... Severe allergic reaction to contact with, ingestion of, or respiration of any gases that exist in standard air.

 

I wish people would quit thinking that the media could possibly ruin my life if I had 5 billion dollars. (they couldn't)

[Professor Vex]

Granted, but everyone stops thinking, and you're trapped on this planet with millions of feral humans.

 

I wish my foresight was better than my hindsight.

[BTGBullseye]

Oooo, fun!

 

Granted, but it only affects your hindsight negatively.

 

I wish that that previous wish would actually happen.

[ThePest179]

Granted, but you're already decapitated and irradiated. It doesn't really matter, in hindsight.

 

I wish for a box to trap hatred in.

[BTGBullseye]

Granted, but you're stuck inside as well.

 

I wish I had no physical damage.

[Seattleite]

Granted, but it's all replaced with psychological damage.

 

I wish my idiot friend would GO HOME ALREADY, since he's not doing anything, you know, SOCIAL AT ALL.

[BTGBullseye]

Granted, but your home is now his, and you have to leave instead.

 

That much psychological damage is like a small papercut to my mind, so I wish for a bag of muppets.

[ThePest179]

Granted, but they all attack you with razors and cut several arteries. You'll figure out something, though.

 

I wish for a firestorm for me to launch anywhere, anytime, as much as I want.

[BTGBullseye]

Granted, but you don't understand how to target it properly, and therefore are only able to target it on yourself.

 

I figured something out, so I no longer have any injuries. I wish for more bags of Muppets, identical to the last one, to be given to every government official.

[Professor Vex]

Granted, the government uses them as a policing force, and use their new power to ban guns.

 

I wish I could un-know stuff at will

[Seattleite]

Granted, but you can't re-know the stuff that you un-know and anything you want to un-know is instantly un-known even if you didn't really mean it and knew you'd regret thinking that before the thought was even formed.

 

I wish Israel would stop murdering Palestinians without presenting an excuse that can pass even a cursory inspection.