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"Corrupt a Wish"

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Granted, now everyone else's mind is as fucked as yours to compensate. I think that means everyone on the planet has a fetish for ponies in fishnet stockings now.

 

Rise, eternal dragon, and grant me, Lord Freeza, immortality!

how the fuck do you know that!

 

Granted by life gets dull

 

I wish that I could make any thing real

non-euclidean fuck machine

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Granted, but you can't make Luna real because she's a pony and not a thing.

 

I wish for an omelette.

I love you, yet can't stand to know you exist.

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Granted, you still have the basic anatomy of a human, but your skin is scaley, you breath fire whenever you sneeze and you can't go into anybodys house without knocking over something with your tail. You'll be forever hunted by deranged dragon hunters.

 

I wish I was able to comprehend the 4th dimension.

I don't like writer's block, I prefer to call it writer's parry.

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Wish granted, however you can no longer understand the other ones.

 

I wish that all my favorite source mods weren't broken now that the engine has been updated to the orange box.

"I aim for the stars, but sometimes I hit London." - Wernher von Braun

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Granted, now you skeleton collapsed in on itself.

 

I wish for a tight hug from an attractive, large-breasted woman.

I love you, yet can't stand to know you exist.

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Granted, you are now a quadriplegic dragon with seizures and malformed wings.

 

I wish people would quit thinking that I have an ego that makes Duke Nukem look like the stereotypical confidence-challenged high-school geek.

Don't insult me. I have trained professionals to do that.

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Well. Wishes aren't THAT powerful.

 

I wish that my wish wouldn't get corrupted.

Maximum fuck about to be given in 3... 2... 1...

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Granted, your snake is now solid.

 

I wish my wish got corrupted.

Maximum fuck about to be given in 3... 2... 1...

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Granted, but it's not.

 

I wish Madman could stop creating paradoxes.

Do you feel blame? Are you mad? Uh, do you feel like wolf kabob Roth vantage? Gefrannis booj pooch boo jujube; bear-ramage. Jigiji geeji geeja geeble Google. Begep flagaggle vaggle veditch-waggle bagga?

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Granted, the universe implodes because it's already too late.

 

I wish I could get the ****ing smudges off my glasses for once.

"I aim for the stars, but sometimes I hit London." - Wernher von Braun

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Granted, but there are now irreversible smudges all over your face. Good luck getting that second date now, sucker!

 

I wish I got a second date...

http://steamcommunity.com/id/Kaweebo/

 

"There are no good reasons. Only legal ones."

 

VALVE: "Sometimes bugs take more than eighteen years to fix."

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Granted, but in the middle of that date, a stampede of wild animals/shoppers/children would trample your date to death.

 

I wish I had a portal gun...

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Wish granted, however it's the one you get at the start of the game that only fires one portal.

 

I wish I had a leather trench coat (because I freaking hate hair that sticks to my current one).

"I aim for the stars, but sometimes I hit London." - Wernher von Braun

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Granted, but it was recently used to haul a body to the local dump, and you get arrested as an accomplice.

 

I wish I had godlike powers, and nobody else cared...

Don't insult me. I have trained professionals to do that.

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