"Corrupt a Wish"

[BTGBullseye]

Granted, but later you have significantly worse pain.

 

I wish this keyboard was more like my laptop keyboard... (this one is an MX5000)

[Pinkie Pie]

Granted, but tiny ponies come out from under every key and after an hour of finding and sticking them back in the keyboard you can't find the last one. Then you worry about it for years and you tell your friend one day about 'the one that got away' and your wife overhears you and cheats on you. Then when you find out it turns out to be that keyboard key mutated to life by radioactive toxic waste! Then after a heated arguement you go home and drink until you pass out. Then, for 20 long years you can't stop thinking about that key. Everytime you close your eyes, everytime you look at a keyboard you see the keyfacehead of your arch enemy. And then one day, you end all the pain...by buying a new keyboard.

 

I wish I could go to sleep and stop wasting my time with writing crap like that.

[Twilight Sparkle]

Wish granted, the entire world standard of literature has been reworked to the point where that crap you just wrote is now considered a masterpiece.

 

And something about sleep too.

 

I wish I hadn't just read something called "I have no wings, but I must fly" on FIMfiction.

[Thadeus]

Granted, but now you've read "Cupcakes" instead.

 

I wish I had people to play D&D with.

[Twilight Sparkle]

Wish granted, you now have a nice group of 8 year old racist xbox live players to keep you company.

 

I wish I hadn't forgotten my ****ing laptop charger on a Friday, leaving me screwed all weekend (T-minus 29%).

[Alyxx Thorne]

Wish granted, but your computer has a virus, making you unable to log into Windows.

 

I wish I had a HDTV

[Thadeus]

Granted, but it's NTCS so you can't use it

 

I wish I didn't have to go on a 7 hour train ride in about an hour

[Alyxx Thorne]

Wish granted, but now you have to hitch-hike to Trondheim with a 200 kilo trucker with gas problems.

 

I wish Peggle wasn't so addictive.

[Thadeus]

Granted, now you're addicted to WoW instead

 

I wish D&D books weren't so expensive

[Twilight Sparkle]

Wish granted, but they are now so popular that they are sold out almost immediately.

 

I wish I could get a new laptop that wasn't so damn expensive.

[Bravetriforcer]

You get it, but it's terrible because it's so cheap.

 

I wish Skyrim were more stimulating.

[Chuckthe2nd]

Granted, but that feature is in a DLC that costs $14.99.

 

I wish I didn't suck at singing.

[Bravetriforcer]

Granted, but you had to deep throat a large black man to get your throat to work like that.

 

I wish I wish I was a fish.

[Chuckthe2nd]

Granted, but you can't be a fish.

 

I wish the neighbor's dog would STFU.

[Twilight Sparkle]

Granted, he got ran over, but the neighbor suspects it was you who did it and calls the police to have you arrested.

 

I wish the reverse gear in my truck worked better.

[Martin]

Granted, but your truck blew up.

 

I wish I could find a contradiction.

[Pinkie Pie]

Granted, fuck you you don't get one.

 

I wish lightning bolts.

[Twilight Sparkle]

Granted, Rainbow Dash creates a thunderstorm that lights up the night sky, then crashes into the ground next to your house and is killed, you monster.

 

I wish I lived close enough to a pizza place for them to deliver.

[Doctor Felix Whooves]

Granted but it tastes like shit

 

I wish my mind was not so fucked up

[Bravetriforcer]

Granted, now everyone else's mind is as fucked as yours to compensate. I think that means everyone on the planet has a fetish for ponies in fishnet stockings now.

 

Rise, eternal dragon, and grant me, Lord Freeza, immortality!