"Corrupt a Wish"

[Scorpia]

Granted, but you have to sell your dream car after you eventually confront her, marry her, and have a child with her.

 

I wish i had a real cigarette instead of rollies.

[BTGBullseye]

I can live with that...

 

Granted, but it was soaked in gasoline right before you lit it.

 

I wish my internet connection was significantly faster.

[Scorpia]

Granted, but the router you shotgunned blows up after about an hour.

 

I wish I knew where i learned what shotgunning was...

[BTGBullseye]

Granted, but then you wish you didn't.

 

I wish I was tired now, and wasn't during class.

[Mr Green]

Granted but now the only time you are not tired is in class, everywhere else makes you tired.

I wish Console people and PC people could get along without fighting.

[BTGBullseye]

Granted, but that only occurs because consoles cease to exist.

 

I wish I cold just kill a few dozen people without consequence right now.

[Epsilon]

Granted, but you can only kill your best friends.

 

I wish someone would tell me when this thread was revived.

[BTGBullseye]

Granted, but they live in rural Kamchatka, and have no internet.

 

I wish I was still sleeping.

[Martin]

Granted but you'll be dreaming about ponies.

 

I wish Google+ didn't exist.

[BTGBullseye]

Dreaming about ponies dying in the most hideously painful way... Good.

 

Granted, but now everyone everywhere has all your info, and you entire life has been permanently ruined.

 

I wish I didn't need to take a shit.

[The Scoutman]

Granted, but now you have to take a piss every 15 seconds.

 

I wish i could be the most dangerous man in history of world.

[Epsilon]

Granted, but you're only dangerous because of your lethally atrocious body odor, rotting teeth, yellow fingernails/toenails, and repulsive breath.

 

I wish I could be more powerful than Saxton Hale.

[Mr Green]

Granted but Chuck Norris becomes even more powerful and hunts you down for the rest of your life.

[BTGBullseye]

Yes, I do indeed.

 

I wish people would quit dividing by zero, only I can do that.

[Mr Green]

Granted but if you use it one more time, God will be forced to put you down.

[BTGBullseye]

Granted, you cease to be.

 

I wish congress would actually try to help this country instead of help themselves to this country's money.

[Mr Green]

Granted but it only makes things worse because congress is clueless.

I wish i was Chuck Norris' second in command.

[BTGBullseye]

Granted, but then you get killed and replaced by another yes man.

 

I wish I never had to shower again.

[Mr Green]

Granted but you become incredibly smelly.

I wish i was nearly as powerful as Chuck Norris.

[Doctor Felix Whooves]

Granted you are now Bruse Cambal

I wish I was not in so much pain right now